Because I'm a Nerd...

So I had this Film Experience project due yesterday where we had to create an additional scene for the movie Pan's Labyrinth. I really was not looking forward to this assignment but I think ended up really loving the scene I made! Not because I'm so terrible artistic or creative... just caz idk i combined like tons of epic movie ideas and came up with a scene that in my head is just epic. haha If your don't visualize it is probibly pretty lame... we shall see... so for your listening pleasure... her is my additional scene...

My additional scene for Pan’s Labyrinth is another task for Ophelia to accomplish. When the magic root the fan gives her to place under her mother’s bed appears to have died, the fan tells her of another magical plant that, if eaten, will cause her mother to live eternally. Of coarse by this he means in the Underworld in which Ophelia is the princess. He runs off on a tangent of how the forest was magical and contains many more ancient underwater caves and caverns that you would not expect from the shallow river running through the forest. The fan however, warns her that time is running up for her three tasks and that she must forget that he has slipped about telling her about this magical plant. He knows, as Ophelia does not, that the magical root is not dead. The audience finds this out later when it is thrown into the fire by Ophelia’s stepfather. In an effort to discourage her from going after the plant he tells her that he will offer no help to her in dealing with the creatures that live about the plant.
Ophelia does not follow the fan’s advice. She does not believe that the root is still alive and is desperate to save her mother. Although the fan offered her no help in retrieving the plant, she sets out to the river to find the magical cave he spoke of. The river itself hides the cave. One particular spot in the mud is quicksand that actually transports anyone who falls into its grasp to an underground cave filled with water. Ophelia struggles to free herself from the quicksand but cannot free herself. She takes one last big breath and finds herself being swept along an underground current. She tries to hold her breath as it carries her swiftly along the tunnel. She gets tossed and turned by the current, struggling to keep herself free from the underwater growth on the cave walls that threaten to wrap their limbs around her and drown her in the flooded cave. Just when she cannot seem to hold her breath any longer, the current rushes into a larger room within the cave that is only half filled with water. She is able to break the service and gasps for breath. A dark shadow passes under her bobbing body. It is the frightening water monster that guards this magical plant. The creature try to eat Ophelia, but the luckily the current is faster than it can manage to swim against and carries her temporarily out of its grasp, deeper into the cave. She struggles to swim towards the sides of the cave in hopes of climbing up the walls and out of the creatures grasp. As she desperately climbs out of the water and up the cave wall, the creature is gaining in on its prey. She just makes it out of the water and over to a small ledge in the nick of time.
Some distance away on another ledge is the magical plant that can save her mother. It is however a dangerous and difficult climb from her perch to the plant. One she is determined to make. All the while with the risk of falling back into the jaws of the water monster, she slowly makes her way to the plant. With some nerve-wracking slips and stumbles, she finally makes it to the plant and places it into her pocket. Now the question is: how does she escape this cave? She looks around desperately and spots a seemly closed off pool some distance away that has a lighter, more sparkling water in it. The current her is non-existent with a glassy service. She does not know if this pool is dangerous or the answer to her problem. She however has no other choice. She can either dive into the glassy pool in hopes of swimming down and out of the cave, or back up against the current and at the mercy of the monster the way she came. She dives into the glassy pool and finds herself surrounded by beautiful fairies. They seem to want her to stay with them and play. As she watches them swim and frolic like seals at play underwater, she forgets where she is, until all of a sudden her breath starts to run out. Now she realizes that these fairies are deceitful. They are making her to drown without even realizing it. As she sets off for the light coming from the end of the tunnel, they desperately try to keep her distracted tugging on her dress and swarming around her. She swims frantically as she yearns for air and finally comes up to the service. The fairies have disappeared around her and she is left treading water in a small but deep pool in the forest. She runs, dripping wet, back to the house to feed her mother the plant.
Other than the underwater cavern setting, this scene would have a particular focus on lighting. When the current through the tunnels is sweeping Ophelia, the lighting would be a blue color. The water would be clear, with an unusual saturation of color. Water mostly dilutes colors. Yet the water would appear bluish clear allowing the weeds that try to entangle her to be sharply green and turquoise. When in the main chamber of the cave, the lighting would still be blue toned. The fast moving water and waves would cast shadows and flashes of light upon the walls. The cave walls that Ophelia climbs would also be sharply colored however. With deep browns and greens of wet earth and weeds growing. The still glassy pool would be a lighter color blue than the dark rushing water in which the water monster lives. It’s light would still cast upon the walls, but in a more sparkling magical source of way while the other part of the cave is more of an ominous shadow effect. Other than this underground world, the saturation of the colors and clearness within the water gives the scene more of a fantasy feel since in reality water clouds images and colors.

Copy & Paste from Tenth Avenue North...

I just can't get enough of his blogs! So I am just gonna like paste in on here so that you all should read it... and might add my own thoughts about it later... the parts in bold are just things that I particularly liked... probibly what I'll comment on later...

"Chapter 6 Break Me Down

"Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but he will heal us;
he has injured us
but he will bind up our wounds."
-Hosea 6:1

Excuse me, what?!!
Who has torn us?
Who has injured us?
The Lord?!!!
Wait a second there Hosea, didn't you mean to say Satan has torn us?
Or maybe bad people?
You sure that's not a typo or something?

Personally, I think one of the most difficult things I've ever had to reconcile in my head
and my heart is this idea that a loving, merciful, compassionate God
would hurt me.
And not on accident either, but purposefully and willfully.
God will apologetically tear me into pieces so that He can heal me.
And you.
Strange huh?

And I suppose it isn't so terribly surprising coming from a prophet who was made
to marry a harlot. If anyone would know something about being hurt by the
Lord it would be him right?
I don't know if you know the story, but
I mean, just put yourself in his place for a second.
There you are. The man. The dude. You're the prophet over all of Israel, and
you've been keeping yourself pure, praying every day for the woman that God will
give to you and then He finally speaks, but its not at all what you were hoping for.

God: "Hosea."
Hosea: "Yeah Lord?"
God: "It's time."
Hosea: "Ahhhh Yeaaahhh! That's what I was hoping you were gonna say.
Time for a wife right Lord?"
God: "Yes Hosea, it's time for a wife."
Hosea: "Ooohh, I can't wait!!! Just tell me though God, is she hot and holy?
Cuz you know, I've been keeping myself pure, and I just know you're gonna
reward me with a wife that's hot and holy. That's all I'm asking for because,
hey, that's what I deserve right?"
God: "Well, not exactly. I don't think she's quite what you had in mind."
Hosea: "Wait, what? .....Oh... I see! She's even hotter and holier than I thought!
Oh yeah Lord, I know how you work!
God: "Well, no."
Hosea: "What you mean, no?"
God: "Hosea, I don't know how to tell you this, well, of course I know how to tell you this,
I'm God, it's just, well....she's a prostitute."
Hosea: "prosti-what?"
God: "Prostitute. Whore. Lady of the Night."
Hosea: No, no, I know what it is, but a PROSTITUTE!!!
God: Yeah, I know that's not what you were planning, but its what I was planning, so you're
gonna marry her.
Hosea: "I'm gonna do what?"
God: "you're gonna marry her, but then of course, she'll cheat on you, and sell herself
so you'll have to go buy her back."
Hosea: "Go what?"
"Yeah, you're going to forgive her and buy her back and when she cheats on you again
and has children with other lovers you're going to love them and take her back again."
Hosea: "Come again?"
God: "you're going to love her kids and take her back."

Long awkward silence

Hosea: "What's her name?"
God: "Gomer."
Hosea: "Oh Come on!!!"

Now I apologize if you're name is Gomer, but you do have to admit,
it's a rather unfortunate name, and an even more unfortunate situation.
But the Bible records that it did happen.
Maybe not exactly like that, but God did tell Hosea to marry an adulterous wife.
And the reason that the Lord supplies in Hosea 3
Is that their marriage was to show us how he loves his people.
He loves his people like an adulterous wife.

And the story is so insanely beautiful when you see it from that angle,
but when you look at it from Hosea's angle it's just plain crazy.
Think about what you'd say if your pastor got up in front of the congregation and
announced that he was about to marry a whore. What would your response be?
Now, I'm not suggesting that every one go out and marry someone from the local
street corner, but I am saying that it is evident that God will do whatever He has to do
to bring you to a place where all you want is Him.

He'll break you, He'll hurt you, He'll ruin your plans, and He'll tear you into pieces,
and He'll do it all out of a perfect holy love.
And look, I know that sounds crazy, but think about it for a moment.
A lot of people want to use God to give them something other than Himself right?
If we're honest, we'll admit that we all do it on some level.
For instance, we don't have sex until we're married, because then God owes us a virgin.
We give 10% of our income to a church, because then God owes us prosperity and wealth.
We pray and pray and pray, and then God owes it to us to answer and give us what we want.
And in all those cases, Jesus is no longer the end, but simply a means to something else.

You've got to see that in Hosea's case, or perhaps in the case
of that one friend of yours who thinks marriage is the goal of their existence.
Don't laugh. It might be you.
But if you think about it, It would actually be unloving of God to go
and make our marriage perfect and make that person fulfill our every hope and dream.
Why?
Because that person will die.
That marriage will end, and if your whole life and existence and joy depends on another
human being, you will inevitably be in for heartache.
Just read the Twilight series (it's true. I've read it, though I'm not proud of it)
and see how the heroine Bella, how her entire life falls apart when her vampire
lover leaves her. Put simply, If our joy rests entirely upon human love or
vampire love, or any other kind of earthly love for that matter,
then one day, our joy will be destroyed.
Is this making sense?

Of course, marriage is just one example.
Money. Security. Fame. Obedience. Sex. Drugs. Worship Music.
If our hope is set in anything but the living person of Christ, then we're just setting ourselves
up for failure. And so God, in his infinite and everlasting love, will do whatever He has to do
to break, bend and conform his people's hearts to Him.
He will no longer be the means to some other end, but the end Himself.
Like a surgeon who has to cut you open, so God must tear us apart to create in us a new heart.
A heart that is obsessed with Him alone.
But unlike a doctor, He doesn't just use a knife. He uses the most bizarre people,
circumstances, and tragedies to change our hearts until they only treasure Him.

He will break us down.
And it will be painful, scary, and altogether beautiful.
Friends, if the Lord is tearing down your world today,
if all the walls on your so carefully constructed plans are caving in on themselves,
then ask Him in faith, God, are you my treasure?
And if you find the answer is no, then ask Him to bring it on.
Break out the scalpel. Tear down the walls. Let loose the storms.
Ask Him to do whatever He has to do, until you can proclaim with the psalmist,
"Whom have in heaven but you,
and earth has nothing I desire besides you."
(Psalm 73)

All this world is fading away anyway right?
Then take heart.
This life is not about succeeding.
It's not about changing the world.
It's not about living with purpose, or leaving a legacy
or making the maximum impact with your life.
It's actually not even about living your life for God.
Did you hear me?
Don't live your life for God.

Live your life because God.

Because He has loved us, redeemed us, and because He is all that our hearts are longing for.
It's no longer about what you do with your life at all, because He is your life.
May He do whatever it takes to open our eyes to see that.
He is the means and He is the end. And everything in between.
It can be terrifying at times, I know, but its worth it.
Believe me, and I guess more importantly believe Him.
It's worth it.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be
revealed in us."
-Romans 8:18

""Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but he will heal us;
he has injured us
but he will bind up our wounds.

2 After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will restore us,
that we may live in his presence.

3 Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth."
-Hosea 6:1-3
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be
revealed in us."
-Romans 8:18

""Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but he will heal us;
he has injured us
but he will bind up our wounds.

2 After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will restore us,
that we may live in his presence.

3 Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth."
-Hosea 6:1-3

Could you imagine what that would look like?
A bunch of people that no longer live for God but because of God?
I mean, think about how terribly liberating that is!
You don't have to earn a thing.
You don't have to perform for anyone.
You don't even have to go and win souls for God.
You just need to know that you're already accepted,
and live like you actually believe it.

Think about it.
A people that praise Him because of who He is.
Doing things because of what He has done.
A church that loves, and forgives, because He first loved them.

Oh how beautiful that would be.

Like my pastor frequently says,
"Don't show me a church that loves God, show me a church that believes
they're loved, and I'll show you a church that God is using."

But sadly, most of miss this one crucial point.
We go to church and we hear how we need to change the world,
how we need to be better Christians, and how we need to make our lives
count, and have maximum impact and how we need to live with purpose, blah blah blah....
And we buy into it. We live harder. We make promises to ourselves.
We memorize the formulas and purpose in our hearts to do better.
But for what reason?
To be honest, it makes me sad to think about,
how many people have been led astray
by the self-help methods and strategies of man.
How many people still don't believe they're loved because
they just can't seem to live up to the spiritual bar they've erected for themselves!
How rarely do we stop ourselves long enough to ask the most important question?
For what purpose am I living for God?
To be accepted or because I already am?

Friends. This one question will make all the difference.

If it's for God and not because of God, two things happen.
We will either live up to all our trying,
and consequently feel really great about ourselves
and look down on everyone who can't live like us,
or we fall short of our resolutions and instantly begin to sulk about how we'll
never be who God wants us to be!
And so it goes. A vicious cycle of swaggering and sniveling.
We're up when we succeed, and we're down when we fail.
Up. Down. Up. Down. On and on and on we go.
Caught up in the halls of introspection, not realizing that the gospel doesn't
make us better people, it just makes us forget about ourselves!

Kind of like Rocky though, you know?
You ever scene that movie?
Remember when He slurs to Mickey,
"if I just go the distance, then I'll know I'm not a bum!"
For Him, He had to go the distance.
That's what it would take to validate Him. To give him worth!
What is it for you?
What are you trying to prove?
What do you need to accomplish in your life that will finally make you feel like
you're not a bum?

Here's the deal.
Romans 12 warns us that there's a problem with living like that.
It says, "therefore, in view of God's mercy, present your bodies as
a living sacrifice to God."
Did you notice the first phrase?
"Therefore, in view of God's mercy,"
And you know what that's saying?
It's saying, before you start trying to live for God, you need to really understand
what's He done for you. You need to understand that you are a bum!
You are a complete and total failure but BECAUSE of chapters 1-11,
because of all that Christ has done, in view of his mercy,
in response to his audacious sacrificing love,
you need to go and live like you believe it.

In other words, our doing is a response to what He has already done.

Just look at how lopsided Romans is!
Paul takes 11 chapters to talk about what Christ did on the cross,
and only 5 to talk about our response to it.
And still, I'll hear a well-intentioned youth pastor get up and preach on this verse,
telling his kids to go and be a living sacrifice, and live for God, and be
the change, etc, etc, etc, and not once will he even mention the cross
and what Christ has done!!!!
And if you do that, I'm sorry youth pastor man, but you totally miss the point.
And furthermore, you actually make people more wicked!
Yeah, that's right! You become more wicked when you live for God
and not because God. That's what the Bible calls "Pharisees."
You do all the right things but for all the wrong reasons.
And all the while, feeling more and more justified for being your own Saviour.

Because the only way we can possibly live for God
is if we are living because of God.
And what I mean is, that's the only way our motivations are purified.
If we're not living in view of God and in response to Him,
then chances are, we're just living for the praises of man, for the validation of our performance,
and for the pride of obedience.

Ok Mike. What on earth is the pride of obedience?
Here's a simple real-life example.
You're driving through the drive-thru at your local fast food dining establishment.
Wendy's. Starbucks perhaps?
And after a strange, disjointed conversation with the broken voice over the speaker,
you drive up to the window, hoping that they actually got your order right,
and then you're greeted by a not so friendly, refreshment attendant,
who gives you the wrong change, the wrong order and seems completely
annoyed that you would have the audacity to bring that to their attention.
So with a surly look and a snatch of the bag, they yell for a change of order over
their shoulder and then slam their little drive thru window thingy closed,
leaving you in your car with a unnecessary guilty conscience and a
brief moment to assess the situation.
And so at this point you lean over to the person next to you, and say,
"Goodness. Can you believe the attitude with these people? I mean,
I would never act like that. Totally unprofessional."
And at just that moment, the little double glass doors swing open,
and said disgruntled employee emerges from his grease cave,
looking at you with that same disheveled expression,
and then with a monotone mumble says,
"Here's your order. Sorry about that."
To which you cheerily respond, "Oh, no problem. Thank you so much."
And off you go.
All the while, feeling really good about yourself, because you were so nice with your
response, and you didn't even reach out through your window and strangle them to death.

Now, some of you might be thinking, "yeah, what's wrong with that?"
A business is a business right? People need to do their job.
Well, I would agree with you, but that's not the issue.
The issue is the underlying sense of pride under statements like,
"Can you believe the attitude?" or "I would never..."
You see, both of those sentiments carry with them an undercurrent of condescending
self-esteem that looks down on the individual who doesn't obey like they do.
I call it, the pride of obedience. And it comes from older brother types who
expect everyone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and live the way they're
supposed to. It comes from people who are living for God, and not because of Him.

However, if you rewind that tape and play it back
with someone living because God,
I think you'd get a much different response.
First of all, the because God person is not
surprised when a person who's never experienced the love of Christ acts like it.
They wouldn't exclaim, "Can you believe the attitude?" because quite frankly,
yes. They can believe it. If they've never known Christ
then what else should they expect?
And they certainly wouldn't say, "I would never act like that."
Because they know, that without Christ, they would.
Maybe not right to someone's face, but definitely in their heart.
And thirdly, they might actually take time to see the person behind the Wendy's
uniform, and ask, "Man, I wonder if they've ever tasted the love of Christ.
I wonder why they're so disagreeable?"

Pride is a sure fire sign that you're not living because God.
People who live because God, are marked by an overwhelming generosity and
a propensity for mercy. They are so aware of they're need
and what they've been given,
that they gladly treat people better than they deserve.
And isn't that the question for us today. For me?
Do I treat people better than they deserve?
Or have I lost sight of how God treats me?
Remember, our obedience must be fueled and driven
by awed and grateful love or else it doesn't mean a thing.
Do not live your life for God.
Live your life Because God.

"Therefore, in view of God's mercy..."

Hymns and the like...

So today I went to a convo (little like hour seminars required for Belmont students to attend... we need a certain number to graduate... just in case you didn't know) that Kevin (leader of Belmont RUF) put on about why we need hymns.

It was a really great talk. I've always loved hymns growing up in a mostly traditional style serve, but sure thought the music was out of date. When I started attending the contemporary service at the church, the music got better, but the words were not a deep. I absolutely loved when we started singing some of the newly re-arranged hymns in that service such as Amazing Grace- My Chains are Gone.

One reason I like RUF so much is because of their incorporation of hymns in a fresh new way.

When I first came to Belmont I think my attitude was a lot like that of the generation before me, that Kevin described. I have always been weary of tradition, especially within the church. Many just become habit with no thought or reverence behind it. Such is a hindrance to faith and true worship in my opinion. Still, I was very weary of many contemporary evangelical movements. While I don't think that coffee shop style churches or mega-church style churches are wrong, when church stops looking like church it is a problem for me.

This is also something we have talked about in RUF. At lot of churches have watered down their services or converted them into mega-entertainment in an effort to catch people's attention and relate to a secular audience. While they mean well, I agree with those who say that this approach distorts what the Christian life is all about. Worship shouldn't be this purely emotional experience that acts like some kind of pep-rally to keep you fire up for Christ. The fact of the matter is that your just not gonna feel that way all the time. Its incredibly discouraging to think that to be a Christian you should feel that way all the time. People question, tire, struggle. This is all part of the Christian life too. Jesus suffered and even struggled in the garden before his crucifixion. God's answer to evil and pain is to walk with us through the midst of our suffering and through that transform it into good. This needs to be reflected in the way we worship and sometimes that requires silence, or reverence and humility within music.

Instead of trying to make the church fit in more with the culture, we should be attempting to explain would counter culture better. Instead of saying that non CHristians wouldn't understand hymns or corporate prayers or something and therefore won't use them, we should make sharing their history and value a part of the service as well. Christianity is not all about what we feel and know now. There are thousands of Christians throughout the centuries that can help us with our journey. We are "dwarfs on the shoulders of giants". We may be able to see farther than those who came before us, but not without their help.

While there is a lot to be said about meeting people where they are. After all, hymns were once the contemporary music of their day. But that does not mean that the Church forgets it's call to be followers of Christ and seek righteousness to get more people to join. Tradition and innovation can work together to create a genuine representation of the church within a worship service.

While Hymns do an awesome job of exploring what the Christian walk is all about, they are not the only songs that accomplish this. During the convo I had a Tenth Avenue North song stuck in my head. I think that band does a great job of portraying all the aspects of Christian life in their album. Brandon Heath said in an interview that he thought that contemporary Christian music was looked down upon because it was shallow and unrealistic. Singing about how happy you are all the time does not reflect how people actually feel. Sometime people really don't feel like praising God. To then sing a song that says "I could sing of your love forever" or I could praise you forever really isn't helpful. Singing about pain or doubt is not really popular, yet it is so important to what being a Christian is really like. Times is the song by Tenth Avenue North that speaks of this and I just love it.

Times
I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, and its been so long

I long to feel you
I feel this need for you
And I need to hear you
Is that so wrong?

Now you pull me near you
When we're close i fear you
Still I'm afraid to tell you
All that I've done

Are you done forgiving?
Or can you look pass my pretending?
Lord I'm so tired of defending
What I've become
What have i become?

I hear you say "My love is over,
It's underneath, it's inside, it's in between
The times you doubt me, when you can't feel
The times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
The times you've broken, the times that you mend
The times you hate me and the times that you bend
Well my love is over, its underneath
It's inside, its in between,

These times you're healing
And when your heart breaks
The times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
The times you're hurting
The times that you heal
The times you go hungry and attempted to steal

In times of confusion and chaos and pain
I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
I'm there through your heartache
I'm there in the storm
My love I will keep you by my power alone
I don't care where you've fallen, where you have been
I'll never forsake you
My love never ends, it never ends

Another great one is Hold mY Heart which starts out:

"How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will You turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart"

There are a number of great worship songs out there that are both contemporary and representative of the Christian walk. I think as long as the focus is upon God and what he has done, incorporated with the scriptures... a song should be pretty good as a tool for understanding Christ as the worship experience.

that probibly made little sense and was all over the place... but hey just thought i would write down my thought...haven't done that for a while...

O Love that Will Not Let Me Go...

So this is my favorite hymn of the moment...

I say at the moment because there is a list of all time favorites which include It is Well,Before the Throne, and other classics...

I actually first heard this sang in church at First Pres and really just loved the music... The worship leader just had the perfect voice to go along with it...

later we sang it at RUF and the words really started to sink in... now I love both the music and words!

O Love that Will Not Let Me Go
Words: George Matheson. Music: Christopher Miner

1. O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
O give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

2. O light that followest all my way,
I yeild my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in they sunshine's blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

3. O joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

4. O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.